Georgia, Texas & one Kick-ass Giveaway

Things are boring right now, I’m not gonna lie. It’s hard to go without the pretty for so long:

I think this is my fav shoot ever. IDK.

But it’s for the best considering she’s about to take on a role that is so beloved and so coveted.  Perhaps she will come out of the woodwork soon. I was thinking about it, and I may just pass out over the costumes. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it.

Anyhow, it’s Friday! Fridays are now dedicated to giveaways and movie announcements for Movie Mondays! 

I didn’t want to use a movie that wasn’t upbeat this week because of In the Land of Women last week. Then I realized that Kristen chooses pretty serious roles so I need to get over myself and keep going with my favorite Kristen movies. I think I may be saving Adventureland for last because it’s my favorite and because I am a product of the 80’s.  Don’t worry, Twilight is coming as well, but I may need like 15 weeks to post all of my thoughts on THAT genius. 

Last night I was contemplating what we would watch this weekend. I asked a couple of people and got an overwhelming response that mostly said the same thing. Enter KStew playing a girl named Georgia:

stunning

The Cake Eaters.

I have seen this movie about three times and I think it is freaking brilliant, and it is extremely tragic in its own way.  So that is your assignment this weekend! Watch The Cake Eaters and come back Monday to discuss!

Now I have a story to tell all of you. A few weeks back I was hanging out with my brother. I was putting stuff away in my closet and he was lounging in my room.

“Can I use your computer?” He asked. He is 15 and checks his Facebook incessantly. Kids these days *as I run to check twitter *. 

“Sure.” I answered.

“What’s your password?”

So I give it to him thinking, why is my computer locked?

I go back to tending to my closet, but I see him focusing intensely and clicking away. Perhaps someone ‘liked’ something he didn’t. I finish what I was doing and close the door before sitting down on the bed.

“So.” He says to me.

“So.” I say back.
“I know you like her, but this is excessive, no?”

He lifts my computer off of his lap and hands it to me. I look at the screen and all of my Kristen shit is out in the open. I have zip files from the Eclipse premiere (and other events) that contain thousands of pictures. Sure, I use them for the blog, but there are thousands of pictures within these files that I download. I have files for each of the posts I do!

example of a KSIBTU folder.

I also happen to think that Rob is fucking beautiful, and a good friend knows I can’t turn down #WFERob so I have some of those stowed away as well. In addition to that, I have files compiled that I use for posts with pictures that I make Buff photoshop like this:

Out of context, this is kind of weird. In context, this is really weird.

why would any normal human being have this on their comp?

Inner beauty. DUH.

And he is staring at me begging for an answer but I don’t know what to say. Sure he knows I love Kristen and MFH, but it’s a weird position to be in. What was I supposed to say? Sorry I have all of these pictures of Kristen and Rob on my computer because I write a blog that you’re too young to know about? I love KStew and I think she’s better than you? I felt like a teenager who just got caught staring at Jenna Jameson, and I was the adult in the situation!

“I saw all of the porn on your computer once.” I blurt out—like THAT was the right thing to say at the time. WORD.VOMIT. Folks, I’m a grown ass girl. Saying shit like that is like—what in the hell was going on in my head?!

I googled duct tape to put a pic here of someone with their mouth covered and found this instead. It was too good not to post.

“WHAT?!” He shrieks.

“Yeah. Finger painting, J?”

Why on earth did I say that? But it’s true! I went to use his MacBook and I saw a little button that said ‘finger painting’. Guess what? It was NOT THE KIDS ACTIVITY THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS (unless kids are painting vaginas these days, which I'm prettttty sure they're not). 

“Shut up CC! You’re the one with Debbie Does Dallas on your computer.”

Yup.

DOUBLE WHAMMY. Allow me to explain. When I was a freshman in college, my roommate said she had never seen porn before. I was taken aback. Clearly she didn’t hang out with boys who were sick fucks. I watched Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee’s freaky alien wedding porn video on vacation with my boy friends once. No shame.

Anyhow, my other roommate’s boyfriend insisted we show her porn. He decided to start from the basics of DDD. That is gross porn, if you can call it that. Those girls give a WHOLE new meaning to bush.  So yeah, it was in my iTunes.

Two years ago I was in Vermont in February (like I am every winter) with my entire family. My brother is listening to music on the couch and all of the sudden it turns into moans.  My dad’s head snaps in that direction. My brother was in 8^th grade so I’m sure he had sneaked a peak at a titty magazine or gone to pornhub BUT STILL!

I fucking DIVE across the living room and slam the computer shut.

“In my room, now.” My father barks before getting up.

I had to explain why my brother was watching porn on my computer to my overly protective and conservative father. It was awesome. 

My dad.

So now we’re back to present day and I’m trying to find the words to explain this.  I realized I UNF for KStew wasn’t going to cut it this time.

 “I like Kristen. I like Rob. I have some zip files. Yeah.”

He shrugged it off and stared at my screen.

“You know,” he said tilting his head to the side, “she’s kind of hot,” he paused, “yeah, I’d definitely do her.”

Weird, I would too.

And just like that my dirty little secret of zip files was forgotten because my brother would “definitely do” KStew.  Also, now I remember why I lock my computer. Imagine if he had seen my fanfic bookmarks!?

Now we are at the giveaway part. I am more excited for this part than you are. I believe that every person on the face of the earth should have a JHiggs original, let it be this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or whatever yours will look like! If you win, you will get to pick whatever picture you would like Jamie to paint for you—and I can guarantee it will be the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

To enter this giveaway you simply have to answer this question:

Has anyone ever seen your ficfile/bookmarks? Also, where do you hide your Stewy porn? Under your mattress or in a nice comfy zip file? Do you have a facepalm moment when someone you didn't want to know saw IT?

REMEMBER TO LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS AND/OR TWITTER NAME IF YOU HAVE ONE. You can submit as long as you live on planet earth. Winner will be selected by random.org and announced on Monday.

Yup, I got Ruth in this post. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Good luck my lovely people, and have a wondrous weekend!

[A/N: I wanna hear your secrets! Make sure you leave a way to contact you in your comment, and don’t forget to watch The Cake Eaters! For my international readers: if you cannot find it in your local video store, on iTunes or Netflix it may or may not be (is) on a website that rhymes with schmootube. Have a great weekend ladies, I love you lots!]