Like the cheerleaders... but not.

Today’s post is scatter brained. I think you can ride it out because you guys get me. I’m strung out from a 3-day-long caffeine binge. It was epic. Let’s roll my lovely friends!

Halloween is probably one of the greatest days of the year in college. One year my roommate dressed up as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. I asked her why the hell she wanted to be that for Halloween. She responded, “Just like their intro used to say: always classy, never trashy!”

....hmmmmm....

I’m not sure I agreed with that notion then and I’m not entirely convinced I agree with it now, but that’s neither here nor there. Several hours later I was chatting with some friends at a house party.

“CC!” My friend said running to me, “You need to get Lizzie home. She is a hot mess.”

Shocker. This girl weighs 100 pounds. She could drink a beer and be swinging from a chandelier. I envied that. When I walked into the room she was splayed out on the couch over five different guys [fear not, they were our friends]. Her skirt was stuck in her brief so her ass was hanging out. She was a real winner!

Real life picture. Remember those days of college? Shitty beer and shittons of it at that?

"Oh for crying out loud.” I said walking up to her.

She giggled as I put her arm around me and helped her walk. We then began to trek back to our house that was just down the street.

“Lady I’m gonna puke!” She said turning to me as her tequila breath washed over my face triggering my gag reflex. I let her go and she went down to the ground and let it all out on the side of the street. When she was done her hair was hanging all over, she was sweaty, she was a HOT MESS and she just looked reDONK. I laughed. She pouted and then chuckled before looking up at me and said, “What do you think CC? Always classy, never trashy!”

"Riiiiiiiiight." I said picking my hot mess back up off the ground.

I have received several e-mails [HIGHlarious e-mails] about the premiere of Remember Me. Some of you went. Your stories are so unbelievably awesome. Most of us watched and foamed at the mouth. I was in a Starbucks awaiting every picture as it came rolling in and each time I squeed. It’s fine though, my barista already thought I was nuts because I was there for 3 days. Legit. You’re welcome Starbucks!

I want to dive right into the steez!!! It wasn’t for everyone. We’re all entitled to our own opinion. Want mine? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOOOOOOVEEEEEDDDDDDD ITTTTTTTTTTTTT! Some say she was underdressed. To them I say: FUCK YOUUUU and SHUT UPPP [mature, right?]. She is not Ashley Greene. She doesn’t overdress for every single carpet [Sorry, Ashley]. That night was NOT her night. She knew it. And it’s not like she showed up in a Walmart special for Pete's sake. Those were some Burberry pants/spandex [or can we just call them second skin?], a Nicole Miller leather jacket [the one I foamed at the mouth over in London with that fucking Pucci dress], and some badass shoes. The shirt was a point of contention. Would you be surprised if she said, “uh I’d rather turn my t-shirt inside out than wear something new and uncomfortable,” because I wouldn’t. Those of you who get IT got it. And besides, she changed several times that night and eventually her outfit was quite casual and cohesive. Walking into the theater she looked like this:

WIN.

Walking out of the theater to the PARTAY [shit guys, I wasn't invited AGAIN] she looked like this:

OIC your shooooeeeesssss

And walking out of the after party she looked like this:

Just wondering, did you need help getting out of that previous pair of pants or..?

I want to back up and talk about the pants. Did you SEE THOSE PANTS. That was second skin. That behind? Please. You can’t even pay for that. Plastic surgeons can’t give you that. That is some good ass genes—literally! She is so flipping beautiful it’s disgusting.

The pants are splitting you guys down the middle. I get it. I would NEVER wear those pants. The first reason is my ass is a wee-bit bigger than Ms. Thang’s and the second is I just couldn’t pull it off. Hell not many can pull that off. I think the issue is that we’re all stuck on the color. For someone who never ever wears color I can dig it. I can appreciate it. Want to see BAD colored pants? We don’t need to look beyond her favorite Twi Director. Chris Weitz:

Those are... different...

Now. Let’s put Kristen in his pants [get your minds OUT of the gutter you silly people]:

Eh...

Now let’s look at Kristen in HER Burberry Second Skin pants again:

Not so bad comparatively, no? You're welcome world!

See? It’s a little better no? I like the pants. I don’t know. I think If you're going to wear something like that you have to OWN IT. IMO she does.

I bet Chris Weitz called her yesterday to talk about the pants:

CW: Hey Kris. Saw you wore yellow pants yesterday.

K: Uh they were more of a mustardy goldish. No yellow.

CW: They were yellow.

K: False.

CW: I'm a director. I put gentle golden hues all over New Moon. I know yellow.

K: Gold and yellow are two entirely different colors... so... still no.

CW: Why the hell aren’t you being ripped apart for those pants? I was put on a cross!

K: Uh, can you read? People love to hate me. I’m very aware of my haters. Lots of times I do things just to tick them off, or so CC can create hypothetical conversations.

CW: I had to retire my pants…. What about you!? This is unfair.

K: Now, now Chris. Life is nothing if not unfair but…uh… you want mine?

CW: Do you think I’ll fit?

K: I mean they’re spandex….

CW: *ponders for a few moments* Eh what the hell. Send ‘em my way.

K: *laughs* Do send pics!

Today KStew receives this picture message from CW:

TextfromChris: Psh. I'm keeping these. I rocked the SHIT out of them compared to you.

Um... not his BEST look, but his legs are nice!

TextfromKStew: Please retire those as well. Burn them. Promise I’m not offended. In fact I have a fucking brilliant idea! Let’s retire colored pants all together.... mmmkay?

Moving on. Someone sent me this and it made me laugh so I wanted to share. Perhaps it's not intentionally funny but I can find humor in nearly everything. Can you guys watch this, paying special attention to the voice in the background in the VERY beginning?

Did you hear the guy screaming in the background? It literally made me chuckle.

“THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT BABY! YOU LOOK AWESOME! OHHHH YEAHHHHH!” Now although the scene is frenetic [and if it were me I’d just fetal position it and suck my thumb] at least she has sketchy photogs telling her how hot she is because well… she is hot and she did look awesome and that IS how you do it! It made me giggle. I don't know how they keep a straight face.

Moving on. I’ve had this e-mail friend and we’ve been joking about her going to the premiere of RM for a while and snatching up RPattz. I get an e-mail from her the day after the premiere and she tells me that she actually went! Cindy you lucky biotch! I was so happy. THAT is why I love New York. She lives two miles away from the theater and figured ‘eh what the hell.’ That is badass. So I am reading her e-mail and living vicariously through her and there is one part that just jumps at me:

“But the real fucking fantastic moment was when KStew showed up. I

swear the hush over the crowd could be heard all the way up through

Central Park. Then, the whispers, "Oh my god! Is that really her?"

"Holy shit, it is her!" "She fucking came." Then, the screams.

"KRISTEN!" "I love you Kristen!" I did none of the above. I sat

quietly and oh-so-smugly with my daughter and my best friend thinking,

"You're motherfucking right she came. Now all you haters can kiss my

ass." Seriously CC, it was epic. I wish I could adequately describe

how satisfying the moment was, but I don't even think there are words.”

I want that moment! I’m jealous of that moment. I try to spread that moment EVERY DAY! I shall live through your moment, my dear fried Cindy.

Sometimes it's nice to have someone there for you. Affirmation is an important thing in life. If this wasn’t your affirmation then that is fine, but this was a nice thing for KStew to do. Recognize that. She really is a good person and this just further validated that notion for all of us. Whether she was there as part of Robsten or she was there as Kristen, MFH’s friend, it was a nice thing to do. She stood for pictures and then skipped to the movie without doing press because a. she didn’t want to take away from the actors in the movie and b. all anyone would’ve asked was why she was there. Well, if you haven’t figured that out by now then I'm rendered speechless. What KStew demonstrated is how NOT to steal a spotlight. Taking notes moment stealers? I hope so.

KStew is so better than us. PERIODDDDD. It was very classy of her to show up and sign autographs for her fans. It was classy of her to not wear a gown to someone else’s premiere where another beautiful girl would be walking the red carpet. It was classy of her to stop and allow the press to take pictures. It was classy of her to skip the interviews because had she given interviews, the questions wouldn’t have been about the movie and that’s what that night was all about—Remember Me. A movie she had no role in and yet she still showed up with grace and humility. She is just a class act that Kristen Stewart, and it’s nice to continually see how her fame is not getting to her head.

K: "Uh... me? A cheerleader? No. I have fat ankles."

Because unlike my drunk ass friend Kristen really is always classy and never trashy, KStew is better than you.

[A/N: I missed you guys. This will be long, and I’m about to get mushy on your icey hearts because I’m overtired and overjoyed. Today at 2pm, I handed in a draft of my gateway to graduation [ps- your words of encouragement have literally been from God]. I cried. Literally. I sat in a chair and wept like a fucking baby. My advisor then said, “Well is it because it sucks?” to which I answered, “Shoot me in the face if you don’t like it.” He then told me he was taking me out for a big ass drink. [This could be a great premise for fanfic, no?] So that’s what I’m doing at this very moment!

Confession: at 12am [aka Thursday] I am turning twentysomething. On Friday I’ll be going home for a family bash. This weekend shall be another one chock-full o’ fun [good, wholesome FAMILY fun!]. That being said, one of our fellow loyalists had a KStew run-in at TYH premiere. She has a story and a picture. It’s beautiful. I’ll share that with you probs on Saturday.

I can try to conceptualize and articulate how unbelievable I think all of you are, but I simply cannot find the words. Today I received a package in the mail from one of our fellow KStew lovers, Kikidoll [she kept me company during the BAFTAs], and it was a birthday card and a wonderful present from her. I cried. Legit. The kindness that you all possess within you is something I wish I could shout from the rooftops for all to hear. I'm certain it could end wars. KStew is misunderstood and consequently so are her fans. I’ll pretty much take a bullet for you chicks at this point..

At the stroke of midnight I shall raise my glass to you, my friends, in celebration of a year in my life that has already been blessed by you lovely, lovely people. Have a wonderful rest of the week!]