Eiffel Tower. And I'm not talking about the one in Paris...

{please be 18.}

When I was 16 or 17 I went on a trip to a little village in Mexico for the purpose of building a school. I was expecting Cabo because well… I lived a very sheltered life. My first indication should’ve been that we weren’t allowed to have any form of technology on us and we were asked to dress modestly. When we got there I was shell shocked. The place looked like it had been involved in some sort of natural disaster, but it was just how the people lived.

Actual picture of the view from our site

We were there for two weeks. For two weeks I got to know the little children that ran around [without shoes] and looked up to us because we were aiding in building them a school. We would wake up at 4am and work through the 115 degree weather because god damnit if you could’ve seen these kid's faces. It was just—gut wrenching.

When I took this picture I cried like a baby. See? I have a soul.

Wanna know something that was fucked? Down the street from our site was this shanty shack that we'd walk to where we could buy bottles of coke for 15 CENTS [I’m talking big old fashioned bottles too]. We didn’t sleep near the site because they said it was too dangerous so we stayed in a gated church’s dorms. So before we left the site each day we’d gather our things and then on our way back to our dormish living arrangements we could sell our bottles back at a gas station for 20 cents. Does that make any sense? No. We didn’t do it. It felt wrong. Like we were robbing them.

When I got home my parents asked me about the trip and I showed them all of my pictures. It was sad. It was really fucking sad. I left my bunk bed in Mexico [that we checked every night for scorpions, btw] and went back to my beautiful house and sat on my comfy bed and turned on my nice TV. It was fucked. You go some place and it affects you so much and then you’re just—not there.

This is the room I learned how to lay cinder blocks in. WOOT WOOT!

When school started again I was talking with one of my friends about it.

“Well hey, at least it’ll look good on your college application, right?”

“Uh… yeah…” I answered.

I still regret that answer to this day. I was a coward. I should’ve said ‘uh I did it out of the kindness of my heart because I’ve had a very fortunate life and a lot of people have NOTHING.’ Instead, I said yes.

It’s very hard for people, these days, to believe that someone is doing something out of the kindness of their heart. That is a sad commentary, is it not? I know not all of you readers are from America, but it’s pretty universal that when there is a cause that needs attention or aid ANYONE can do his or her part to help.

So on Feb 12 our girl attended a fundraiser for Haiti relief. That’s really nice, no?

"Yeah... haha... I'm the 'host' of this...RIGHT..."

But then the next morning I started reading the headlines. She was hosting a big party and NO BODY TOLD US!? Loyalists, I know we live around the world but like… if KStew was throwing a bash my ass would’ve been on a plane and getting into that shit, no? Wouldn’t you? I was toooootally pissed at this missed opportunity.

I know Gossip Cop has already shut this down, but let’s toy with it okay? Hollywoodlife.com wrote, “Kristen Stewart Says She’s Anti-Social – So Why Is She Hosting a Huge Party in LA” Hm… first off she says she’s anti-social? Not wanting to go out in Hollywood just for the sake of shameless self-promotion makes her anti-social? I think she has friends, don’t you?

And FUCK, she was hosting a huge party?! Where the hell was our invite, seriously. If Kristen Stewart was hosting a huge party the crowd would be like this:

CC: "Hey! I like to party! Let ME in! Please!"

Instead it was this:

I don't care if this is early on. My point is. No crowds. No bitching party to host.

Hm. Bad turnout… or… maybe their heads are so far up their asses they can’t read the board behind them that it’s for the Ameircan Red Cross? [It is iffy, I hear those Red Cross parties are BITCHING! People swinging from chandeliers and stuff.] I’ll go with the latter just for argument’s sake. So, she has done a wonderful thing attending this event. She could’ve just done nothing. Lots of people did nothing. She did something. That’s something more than everyone else did. [Did you all follow that logic?]

Instead of seeing that we got a little caught up on this:

1.2.3.4.5... UH OH. I COUNTED FIVE GUYS!!!

( I know this looks like 4, but there's a guy next to that girl behind her, just couldn't upload that pic.)

OH NO. KRISTEN STEWART. IN A CAR. WITH MILLIONS OF BOYS. IT MUST BE A GIANT ORGY.OH NO! OH. NO.

My friend sent me a link to I think Just Jared or something with the pictures and she wrote ‘what do you think was up with that?’ You guys wanna know what I think happened. I think Kristen is a pimp. I think she has shittons of guys in the wings that she just uses and disposes of. She left that thing with a ton of guys and a girl. That’s some kinky shit, but I don’t think she’s into girls really. I personally think Eiffel Towering ensued, don’t you agree? [If you don't know what that is, go to urban dictionary. It seems like a GAS!]

*Closes eyes to visualize orgy that is about to ensue*

I believe one of the headlines read: “Kristen Stewart leaves Haiti Relief with a guy who Isn’t MFH” [So I changed the name. Shoot me.] Okay so in that headline we have successfully taken ALL of the attention off of the good that she was doing there and make the crazy ass robstenites pass out at the idea that MAYBE she was hanging out with another guy.

Can this girl not live? She walks onto the red carpet and she looks 'homeless, pissed, dirty,' and whatever else the haters can conjure up. She leaves and she’s got 23 new boyfriends. My word!

Kristen Stewart, out of the kindness of her heart, attended an event to raise money for Haitian relief. As opposed to throwing money at an organization and calling it a day she attended an event [which we all know she isn’t very fond of doing unless absolutely necessary] in support of a global travesty. Props to her. That’s the right thing to do with her mega celebrity status. And it’s very calculated. You don’t see her face every day like you do some others—so when it comes out you know it’ll be plastered all over the fucking place. People will see that it was for Haiti. That raises awareness. That’s a WIN. This night though? This was turned into a loss by the crazies. Let's erase the crazies. THIS IS A FUCKING WIN.

The next time she steps out to do something for the greater good of the world maybe we don’t have to worry as to whether or not she was HOSTING A PARTY [which she wasn’t bc once again, I got NO invite remember?] and whether or not she's taking a bunch of guys home to show them a 'real good time' later on in the night. Next time, let’s all do each other a favor and take it at face value. She went out. With a group of friends. She looked HOT. She did a good deed. Good for her!

"Am I doing my hosting obligations properly? I want to move this along fast. Have an orgy to tend to..."

Because Kristen Stewart isn’t a famewhore and used her stardom to draw attention to a respectable cause [even if everyone overlooked it for the boy she was standing next to or the outfit she was wearing], KStew is unbelievably better than u.

For those of you that can spare even a dollar, every one counts. Here's the link to the American Red Cross http://www.redcross.org/

[A/N: The first thing is, I know a LOT of you have similar stories to mine and have done volunteer work. To you I say HATS OFF! I have not done a lot in all seriousness but to those of you who contribute--I swear there is a special place in heaven for you. I’m now going to start posting every other day ish plus some weekend because my life is falling by the waist side. Don’t worry. Everything will be okay. Trust me. Still astonished at the e-mails I’m getting and a lot of you are now becoming my corresponding friends! Yipeeeeee. Love your tweets. Love your e-mails. Love your comments. You’re the best readers on the entire web and I’ll fight any one who wants to tell me otherwise. Love you guys. Period, end of story.]