A True Premiere

Hey there everybody! Please excuse the fact that we haven't spoken in one week, but let's just say that LOTS has happened. When last we spoke, I was leaving Oregon to go back home. Guess what? Yesterday I flew to California. I'll get into that later, but please accept my apology for not being around. Truth be told, not much happened in the land of KStew until two days ago (Scout's premiere) and then yesterday it was like an avalanche. 

We will not be discussing EW until probs Monday. There is PURE GOLD in that freaking article, but we cannot ignore the premiere in any way, shape, or form. 

I googled "Shapes and Forms" and this is what I got. So now you know.

To say it was a smashing success would be the understatement of the century. It was so much less of a cluster fuck than last time. It was a real premiere. For reals. This time they had shit NAILED.DOWN. It was like a quad just shut down in a very organized manner. Perhaps that's why they looked so much happier this year than last… because they didn't think they were going to die?

Maybe they all spotted the same crazy fan... simultaneously... 

In my opinion this was the best Kristen. She was happy, lighthearted, and truthfully just glad to be there. It's a very daunting experience and being around that much energy could have an adverse effect on a person, but last night she soaked it all up and killed it. 

I watched the stream with three lovely ladies: @Just2CUSmile, @JolieJessa and @KimmCarr. We were huddled around @JolieJessa's dining room table. @Just2CUSmile was sitting next to me, @JolieJessa was on my lap, and @KimmCarr was bending down behind us. We were watching the E! feed on my computer and then I had my phone in hand reading tweets as they came from the carpet and other places.

So I read that K/T/R are there and I'm like FINALLY.

Did you not want to kill yourself when you saw people like this...

...bc it's the closest to the Oscars that she'll ever get.

or this...

you forget to over-tan your face!

...there? WHAT WAS THAT? Who cares. I had to search forever to find those pictures, which means their presence was less than significant. Obviously. 

I digress, I'm reading the feeds and then SUDDENLY I see popping up everywhere that Kristen was put into a car and driven away. I lost my shit. Guys… are you listening? I LOST MY SHIT. Robert Pattinson was parading around in his, as @Buff_82 calls it, Barney suit and I couldn't have cared less because I thought Kristen was gone forevsies. 

"WHAT!?" I kept screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WATCH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!"

A million years later (3 minutes?) everyone said she was back. Then I got to enjoy looking at this:

nom nom nom

I'm not the biggest fan of the color, but I appreciate that it fits, that it was ironed, and that he took a risk. My ideal look would've been a lightish gray suit, white pressed shirt, skinny black tie…. like… THIS:

imagine this with his current hair? *sorry I'm dead on the ground*

Ugh, GQ Rob. But here's the plus. HIS FACE IS SO GODDAMN SEXY BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING HAIRCUT THAT I COULD GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT HE'S WEARING.

The end. 

Anyhow, it later comes out that Kristen had a bit of an incident with a sharpie, which ended up in her looking like this:

o0o0o0 new tat?

In her E! interview, she spoke about the fact that she got sharpied (it's a word now) and that she thinks it was an accident--but if it wasn't that wasn't very nice of said girl. You never know with fans. There are a lot of R/T fans that fucking hate Kristen. That being said, I want to have enough faith in humanity to believe that perhaps an overzealous fan was waving her hands about just a little too much and got Kristen's face. Would you purposely do that with body guards around? I wouldn't.

It was clearly an accident because if you're going to draw on someone's face you do this:

bc she loves Bel Ami

Now, if it were me, I may have done this:

You're WELCOME, Kristen.

That's all irrelevant because it was fixed, and girlfriend ended up looking like THIS:

Kristen WINS. Her pretty surpasses your pretty.

Now, I'm not the biggest fan of the dress, but I appreciate what she was trying to do. It looked a bit bunchy around the shoulder. Fashion is a risk; she took a risk.

The thing not to complain about? THE BACK. That badonkadonk is ridonkadonk.

unfffffff

Whenever Kristen would do an over the shoulder bit, Ruth would crack the fuck up. I love Ruth. Do you love Ruth? Ruth is amazing.

Another favorite moment of the carpet was when Ben and Jason were trying to kill time and they saw PappaStew and tried to get him to talk to them. Obvs rejected, but her dad is so badass. But then again, so is her mom--covered in all those tats and stuff. It is really no surprise that they spawned a very badass daughter.

I haven't gotten to watch a lot of the videos, but I did like this one a lot:

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

There is something so very down to earth about Kristen in that she can recognize the fact that dressing up to that extent really does put you on another level. Yet every time she talks to reporters it is so very easy to see that she really is just a 20 year old girl going through a crazy experience. She doesn't make herself seem better than you are (although KStew really IS better than you), and bragging simply isn't in her cards. I love that. I appreciate that.

She also took her heels off before going in. It's no surprise. Heels are torture devices invented by men to make women's asses look better. Obviously they had no idea what the fuck they were doing. Do we shove your feet into tight shoes and then prop them up 5 inches on a toothpick. NO. Isn't bearing your fucking child enough!?

Now, something really, really cool happened. @KPattzNews camped out for the week. She made a beautiful sign that said 'I UNF for KStew' with the KSIBTU logo and a picture of Kristen. That's the best fucking sign ever. What's even better?

Well this is Kristen signing the sign:

Dearest @KPattzNews, the fact that you were this close to her?

YOU GO GIRL!

And this is the sign:

Is this real life? YES IT IS.

THIS MEANS THAT IT IS NOW NO SECRET TO KRISTEN THAT SEVERAL (all) OF US UNF FOR HER ON A DAILY BASIS. [Thank you so much, @KPattzNews, because that sign made my fucking year.]

So the movie goes down and then the after party does. Kristen changed. Good. I'd be put off if she hadn't. 

"WANNA START A SLOW CLAP!?"

It seems as if she was hanging around a deliciously handsome young man a lot of the time, but let's face it--that picture sells so it's obviously the one that was most taken.

hmmmmm

Overall I'd say last night was BEYOND a smashing success for every single one of the Twifecta. They work their asses off promoting this movie, and it'll all finally be over for them next week. They were happy. They were in good spirits. Kristen was in such a good place last night, and that makes me smile a little... actually a lot.

so.flipping.cute

Did you SEE the premiere? Please, Kstew is so better than you.

[A/N: TELL.ME.ALL.YOUR.THOUGHTS.NOW. The dress? The interviews? The boys? The make up? Anything and everything.

Insert me to the right of her, bc obvs that is where I'll be sitting tonight.

So… someone awesome gave me a ticket to WTTR premiere tonight at LAFF. I said thanks, but I couldn't make it. I JUST GOT BACK FROM OREGON ON SATURDAY! Then I thought about it and I was like WTF GO! So I bought a plane ticket on Wednesday and flew out to Cali yesterday. Tonight I will be going. TONIGHT I WILL BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS KRISTEN. Like what?! It's all true, folks. I will tweet to my best ability for sure, and I'll talk about it on Sunday… because… well I hop on a plane tomorrow morning because 13 people from all over the country are flying into NY on Monday to begin the KSIBTU NY Eclipse WEEK. I love you guys more than ever.]