Pressapalooza

This week has been the epitome of craziness, and it's only Tuesday. I left SoCal on Thursday (much to my chagrin), and have spent every day since then three sheets to the wind… maybe three thousand sheets. My mom and dad can put.it.away. I thought I was good, but my father can drink any human being under a table. I am *ahem* twentysomething. He's nearly 60. I had to stop drinking after about 8 hours. He went the whole fucking night, went to bed at 2am, and got up at 6 to go to the gym. I, on the other hand, threw up at the prospect of a gym.

RL

Needless to say, my ability to keep up with the overwhelming influx of pictures/interviews/press has been less than par. In my eyes three important things happened: Twicon, the press junket and Kimmel. I can't go into great detail about all of this because I, a, haven't seen it all, and b, don't have the time to write about it all.

Before I begin though, I want to give a little more detail about my seeing MFH on the set for Water for Elephants because I've gotten a lot of emails in reference to my sighting. I was in SoCal last week and E had headed back East for 3 weeks. I opted to hang out with some of the KSIBTU Crew. @JolieJessa and @Just2CUSmile are my saving graces every day. We had hung out for like 3 days and decided we'd venture into Filmore to check the situation out. @JolieJessa lives in the valley so it wasn't that bad of a drive.

The set that everyone once saw was taken down by the time we got there, and the other one was just being set up sooo instead I got lost. As we were rounding a corner (ps this town is ALL orange groves) we saw a bunch of randomly parked cars and then BAM--period clothing--and horses--and a FUCKING camel! 

To make a long story short, we got out of the car and I did this:

Papping the paps = my version of sticking it to the man.

Then I was staring ahead when I saw HIS car approaching. I had thankfully JUST looked at pictures the night before and saw a little black bean of a Ford. I remember because I thought it was ugly. Anyhow, I'm a talkative girl, but my jaw dropped as he rounded the corner and I stood in awe. The girls turned to me questioningly and I whispered, "that's the car he's always in" as his #jawporn and beautiful face slayed me through the chest. He's even more delicious in person.

The car passed and we waited around a bit and spoke with his "trailer keeper" who goes around the world with him. He told us fun facts liiiike Rob really does play the guitar in his trailer, and no, Kristen has yet to be on set for WFE. 

Then… THEN DEAN COMES OUT with a bunch of little security people and they start checking bushes and shit for paps. As luck would have it, one fucker was standing right in front of him and Dean said, "So long as he's here, Rob won't come out."

PSH, THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY! So people run across the street to bully this pap away (which they did successfully), but I decided I need a time frame.

"wait!" I called after Dean, "How much time do we have to get rid of him?"

"Well," he said turning to me, "Rob will be here until like 3 am."

"Thanks…" I mumbled. 

"No problem." He answered all hot and shit. [Yep, I just called Dean hot.]

Then I turned to @JolieJessa and @Just2cuSmile and nearly died.

"I JUST FUCKING TALKED TO DEAN!!!" I screamed. They were pretty amped for me. Let's just say that I'm nearly positive that Dean and I are now bff.

2 things.

1- Dean is on the far left stroking Rob's sideburn. 

2. That's the night we met.

After a while we left for two reasons. One was because Rob went out a back entrance to return to set, and the other because all the people around us hated Kristen. 

There was a girl who had been waiting there for a while… every day… for over eight hours... for over two weeks… for Rob's autograph… no this is not a joke.

Anyhow, I mentioned Kristen and called her Rob's girlfriend. This girl felt so inclined to turn around and say, "you mean his WEIRD GIRLFRIEND."

 …um…no…I don't.

"We actually REALLY LIKE HER" @JolieJessa snapped.

"You don't mind that she bites her lip and fidgets?" The girl said rudely.

"No, I think she's badass, and I also think if she were here she'd be giving you the double finger." I answered.

DONT.FUCK.WITH.KSTEW.FANS. We will cut you from ear to ear and nose to navel, because that's what Kristen would do. 

WWKD? 

Oh so THAT'S what she'd do.

She let it go for a bit until she felt the need to tell me, "Kristen never stops to say hi to her fans. She's scared of everybody," to which I quickly responded, "um, haven't you been out here for 15 days straight?… for an autograph? because Rob has yet to stop his car?" She laughed it off not realizing I totally shot her entirely flawed and ignorant brain down.

Also, perhaps she spoke too soon, yes? YESTERDAY:

Hm... weird...

She needs to buzz off.

Anyhow, we left and drove down the street and then there he was. Standing. ON THE SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD. Hot as shit… and tall… holy shit he was tall. None of us spoke. At the time, I was driving @JolieJessa's car. Nearly crashed. And we didn't talk for a good minute until all three of us collectively screamed 'HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HIM RIGHT? HE'S SO HOT. AHHHH THE HAIR.' I was stuck on the height. Fuck he is TALL! Go Kristen!

Thus endith my adventure to WFE. Success.

Now for the meat and potatoes. First of all, I want to start out with Twicon. I've seen some of the videos, but sometimes the screaming is so overwhelming that I would rather pour hot wax in my ears than listen to those crazy octaves being reached. I had a couple of friends who went to Twicon and took amazing pictures.

tee-hee-hee

I heard that nothing too crazy went down at Twicon. I suppose the thing that got most attention were the pictures because it seemed as if Ms. Stewart and Mr. Pattinson could NOT stop hanging over their respective chairs.

secrets, secrets are no fun... unless I am a part of one!

From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that it's far more convenient to just SIT on desired person's lap than to constantly be leaning over your chair. 

This is a really good compilation-ish video. It includes [what I consider to be] the two funniest moments in the panel.  I've watched a lot of the videos, but I wasn't there… so feel free to add your opinion as well.

The hands down funniest moment (3:03) was when Rob called Taylor out for having sexy time with a baby, and Taylor turns it around and talks Kristen and Rob making sexy time. This slays me. The dynamics of their relationships are phenomenal. They are hilarious together, and I love how they are constantly throwing one another under the bus. You cannot watch that part and not laugh. 

The ending actually had me laughing out loud. I actually think it was my favorite part because the sarcasm was perfect. (4:41) Taylor turns his chair away from R/K and starts discussing how he'd still be involved in the industry, but just in a different portion of it. And then Kristen makes fun of him in the cutest way ever.

Taylor: Writing, directing, producing…

Kristen: Yeah right…. Uh huh… Yeah I can't wait for that.

It killed me. 

That same day a ton of press went down, and I believe it continued into yesterday as well. There were millions of interviews, and it is entirely overwhelming to try to address it all. I looked all over the internet for a few hours, as some of you can relate, just watching videos and trying to decipher what's important. Here's what I realized: the less it has to do with the actual movie, the more I like it. Weird, huh? I'm certain a lot of you can relate, but if it's in reference to Twilight they always ask the same fucking questions. What's Eclipse about? Well guess what interviewer, chances are the people who are watching the interview have read the book 2309488 times, so ask something else. 

Anyhow, here are some of the ones I enjoyed:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Could you imagine that? OF COURSE Rob came up with that… of course he did. Someone's been spending a bit too much time with the circus, no? Rob also mentioned that his kiss with Kristen was better than Taylor's (with Kristen) because he has two awards to prove it, and he said that they can't just keep on not kissing. MTVMAs 2011, here we come! 

I also liked the Access Hollywood one when she was like "We totally have sex! Finally!" and it's like… well… yeah… FINALLY!

The best thing to come out of this press junket was the declaration of just what a mistake the J/B 'kiss' really is. [Hence LIES] Sure Kristen said it was 'really weird' kissing Taylor. Of course it is, have you seen them in public? They're freaking adorable. I don't want to make out with my brotherly best friend either. Do you? Well then you're messed up. In addition to that, I have to agree that it was really weird in reference to the book because it makes NO FUCKING SENSE whatsoever and it makes me cringe thinking about it… soooo there's that!

In addition to that, people asked who Kristen liked kissing more, and her answer was Dakota. Well DUH. It was hotter and… well… we all know how I feel about DakotaStew.

You all remember my Banger Sisters metaphor, yes?

Another amazing thing to come out of press was the talk of On The Road. In her panel interview, Kristen spoke about going to beatnik boot camp for four weeks in July. I want to go to that school, but I'm pretty sure it's identical to any Phish festival I've ever been to. But that's not the important part, and we all know that. THE HAIR will make a triumphant return. Not entirely blonde, though. 

"Blonde is not good for me," she said. FALSE.

Hey Kristen? BLONDE'S GOOD FOR YOU!

Blonde was perfect for you, but that's okay, "Light brown with blonde and a little bit of red in it." 

YIPES. That will be hot. 

So then yesterday evening Kimmel went down. A LOT of the KSBITU Crew was there, and they sent me the most amazing pictures from their cell phones. I heard it was nothing too thrilling content wise, but we all know that Kristen looked hot in another second skin dress.

Oh my. OH.MY. Look at that. LOOK AT THAT.

Speaking of hot, did you see this De La Renta number?

This is 4th fav of all time...

With THESE Loubis:

...BECAUSE OF THESE.

PLEASE GET OUT NOW. 

I want to end this with what I consider to be one of the funniest videos of the junket:

It's at the end. Try not to die.

I could not stop laughing. "Noooo I can't deal with this. No. I can't. Literally can't do it. I'm not gonna listen right now. I can talk louder than my nine year old self can talk!"

The last few days had to be exhausting for all three of these lovely people. I think Kristen was articulate, charismatic, happy, and she looked pretty hot the entire time as well.

Proof that we all FP!

Because she made this weekend her bitch, KStew is better than you.

[A/N: Is there a vid that you loved that I missed? Let me know! We've been saturated in press so it isn't hard to believe that I'd miss something. I'm currently in Portland. I don't have a ticket home [YET], but I'm gunning for Friday. Rome goes down on Thursday, so hopefully we'll talk Friday. Enjoy the rest of your week lovely people!]


all hot KStew pics come from http://www.kstewartfan.org/