The Land Down Under

Oh hey everyone! This post is going to be very brief because it’s a holiday here in the US, and we like to get our drink on as early as possible in these situations.

As an American, it would be highly inappropriate of me to write today without acknowledging today’s importance. To all of my US readers: I am wishing you the very best Memorial Day. To those that aren’t in the US, Memorial Day is like our warm up for the 4^th of July. It’s full of family, friends, BBQs, DRINKS, and remembering those who lost their lives for us.

I know for a fact that many of you readers have siblings/husbands/family/friends in the armed forces. I salute you, my friends, for being strong. Above all I salute the men and women of our country for the sacrifices they have made so I can live my life in peace and freedom every day.

Thank you.

Moving on. Last post I announced that I was giving away two copies of Elle UK, and in order to win you had to leave a comment. My suggestion for comment ideas was for you to tell me what you call a vagina. I’m so fucking glad I asked that question. I’ve never read funnier answers in my whole life. Everything from “Lady HaHa” to “beaver” (thanks, MoBS) and beyond. I loved hearing what it was called in all different languages. Vaginas and KStew—transcending borders every day.

Anyhow, as always your responses overwhelm me. I love you guys more than I can say. And now… the two lucky winners of Elle UK are…

That's Anyadit and my Polish friend Alice! CONGRATS LADIES!!!! We will be talking soon.

So right now KStew is in Australia. This is very exciting! I’ve never been to Australia, but I really want to go. One of my bloggie bffs sent me this package from the land down undah, and I feel like an Aussie already.

Haven't exactly tried the vegemite yet...

KStew’s mommy is Australian and adopted! She says awesome things like ‘have a shower’. That’s pretty cool. Oh and one other note:

Dear Aussie readers, I love your accents. Thank you for listening. Hearts, KSIBTU.

KStew and Taylor went on a boat ride and went to the zoo! I like boats (yachting) and I love the zoo (because my dogs are my life). Everything from thereon out I do not know because I’ve been too busy staring at this picture:

hotness.

I’m fucking dying for this picture. This is just the best thing that’s ever happened to the KStew community. Is this not your sentiment to every idiot in the world? It’s just a giant fuck you. Some people don’t like that she did that. To them I say:

eff all ya'll

See? It’s so applicable to everyday life. Truthfully those that cared that she flipped some birdies need to get a life. I was thinking about this yesterday because I went to a little shindig with friends at an overpriced hotel. As we were all sipping drinks and looking at the Pacific Ocean, I was contemplating why I wasn’t at that hotel two weeks prior so I could’ve bummed a cigarette (that I don’t smoke) off of Kristen as she schmoozed with Rob (do you get where I was?).

Anyhow, at one point one of E’s friends started taking pictures. It lost its novelty rather quickly and became extremely annoying. 4 or 5 pictures are fine, but by picture 40 I wanted to sock this bitch in the mouth. What the hell do you need to take so many pictures for!? It made no sense to me. I walked away and kept nursing my cranberry and voddie. Then it dawned on me: I was able to walk away. Guess who can’t?

how cute, right?

Well that sucks. I would actually cause the people physical harm. Yet another reason KStew is better than yours truly.

Anyhow, they went on a boat ride.

come onnnn, how cute?! how happy!?

Have any of you ever been on one of those? I did one last July near Niagara Falls. They are freaking awesome and so much fun! It is no surprise to me that she was having a good time with TLaut, and let’s face it—they deserve some fun. Their lives are about to becoming a living hell and a circus all at the same time. Read my lips: fetal position.

T: I'm looking for my independence and can't seem to find it. K?

K: Yup, it's not over here either

I must say that I really fancied her outfit that day. I liked the beanie a lot, and the tank was pretty awesome as well. I just really love the entire look.

I also loved this:

a special message from KStew

I want KStew to flip the world off daily. Do you know why? Because on Friday I was discussing how she is just a projection and manifestation of what we want her to be. I said I pictured her kicking ass and taking names 24/7. Guess what? My picture was so fucking right it hurts. That affirmation wasn’t entirely necessary (because deep down inside I already knew), but let’s be honest—the picture didn’t hurt!

The bottom line is that I can appreciate a strong, independent, take-no-shit girl. That sums up nearly every single one of my best girl friends. I like when girls don’t act demure because they are supposed to. I like that at the end of the day, if Kristen Stewart wants to flip the bird, she fucking will. That’s pretty kickass. That’s Kristen.

practicing her flamingo stance. Next stop: Florida!

While most of us were sleeping, Kristen and Taylor showed up for an event at Luna Park. Holy shit guys… Pucci is getting a run for its money. I will not replace Pucci just yet, but allow me to say that this has BEYOND solidified itself as number two best ever. The bright yellow with the interesting shape?

I won't even mention my lumpy butt.

UNF. I would look absolutely ridiculous if I ever tried to wear this. The first reason is that I have blonde hair and I don’t wear yellow because of that. The second is that my legs don’t look 1/8^th as good as that, and lastly because I am not Kristen Stewart. Girlfriend can WORK IT.

ohhhh yessssssss.

And as always, her face looked beyond flawless. She can’t give bad face. I adore this look. Is it now on your favs? This gets me so excited for press because she takes risks with her outfits. She goes out on a limb and wears things that perhaps most wouldn’t. She’s young and she can still rock the shit out of anything she puts on. She’s Kristen freaking Stewart.

Happy Memorial Day my lovely people!

Because she’s just as badass as I suspected (especially Down Under), KStew is better than you.

[A/N: So I got to California on Saturday. This place is just as magical as when I left it in March. At this time tomorrow I’ll be here (for freeee!!). I’ll be in Hawaii until next Monday. These time zones are fucking with my head so badly. I post around noon EST and now I’ll be 6 hours behind that. I’m already confused as to what’s going to happen. Just know that we WILL talk this week about all of the press, and then OBVIOUSLY on Monday about the MTVMAs. Press can be overwhelming with the shittons of videos/interviews/pictures that are released. You guys know I will just combine and discuss. I don’t like hectic. I am slow. I need slow. Enjoy the beginning of this week! I love ya more than my partially packed luggage!]