A Big Dumping

Have you guys ever seen the movie She's the Man? It was a guilty pleasure of mine in my youth, and sometimes when I'm with good friends and we're wrecked and in the mood to watch Channing Tatum prance around shirtless [note: that is ALL the time] and laugh at horrible acting we watch it. At one point one character is addressing another about being dumped and says, "he dumped you. he took a big dumping on you." [Any one else get an unsettling picture in their minds, or is it just me who's fucked in the head?]

Imagine getting this? I mean seriously... IMAGINE.

Today the sky took a big dumping on us. In fact, I'm about to share a picture with you that I took outside for my sister who so fortunately [or unfortunately?] lives out West.

Guess we're not grilling tonight or...?

This was at about 10am. It's now many hours past that and it's still snowing. The dumping has continued. Now I am NOT complaining because I LOVE the snow. I hate people who bitch about snow because it's like FUCKING MOVE THEN! Or best yet, just shut up. Snow is magical. I've heard of people who have never seen snow before except for on TV--what the HELL is that!? Makes no sense to me. If you get snow you are blessed. Before the plows come and the world is still around you, you can do nothing but look around and marvel at nature's beauty. Lucky for us Global Warming [or shall i say Climate Change?] is going to make it so our children and their children never know what snow is. Enjoy it while it's around--it's brilliant.

What is this God's Dandruff you speak of. It's white AND fluffy? It doesn't get stuck in your ass crack!? WHAT?!

What isn't brilliant is shoveling and cleaning off your car. What isn't brilliant is having the walk in the snow and then go someplace nice and you look like a wet rat.

It's snowing outside. Ain't no big deal.

Not too long ago my beloved KStew was at Sundance and it was dumping on all of them and they all looked okay but KStew? KStew looked fucking BEAUTIFUL! (There were rumblings that people were hating on her style and to them I ask--why the hell do you care? Have you ever been to Sundance? Clearly not because it's not for Mega Twilight Cheese *Taylor Lautner* it's for the indie at heart who don't need to overcompensate for bad acting by over dressing. PS- I'm pretty sure several people think the things that YOU wear on a day-to-day basis are ugly as well.)

Her hood was up and her beautiful flawless skin mocked my blotchy pale skin and as snow fell around her you only saw her beauty and not nature's. That is talent. That's good face. When we walk outside in the snow we have ugly ass boots, big ass fluffy jackets, gross hoods, ugly gloves--it just doesn't look anything like this:

Yes my mullet cascades perfectly around my face.

Yes my hair peers perfectly out of my hood.

or THIS:

Yes, my face is flawless even as snowflakes pelt me in the eye.

It does, however, look like this:

I'm not a terrorist you asshole it's SNOWING. Fug like this is necessary!

So for those of you who continue to hate on my girl [ps- you're idiots] I want you to consider being in the middle of the Snowpocalypse and tell me if you too would look this good:

She reaches in her pocket to silence her phone that RPattz will NOT stop calling.

Thanks, Jared Leto.

Allow me to answer that question--FUCK NO! You're human. KStew isn't human. She's superhuman. She fucks Robert Pattinson for crying out loud and puhlease normal humans can't do that--or handle it for that matter because have you SEEN THE LENGTH OF HIS FINGERS?!?!?!?!?!?

R: "They're for messing around with..*pause* for playing with...*pause* of course I'm referring to the piano.."

While i walk out into a dumping and look like this [note: that is not me]:

brrrrrrr

Kristen Stewart can walk out into a dumping and look like this:

SHE'S LITERALLY NOT EVEN TRYING AND LOOK AT HER!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!!! *wallows*

And that is why today, as the skies above pour out shittons of my beloved snow, KStew is WITHOUT A DOUBT better than you! [and me.]

[A/N: All KStew Sundance pix curtosey of http://www.kstewartfan.org/. Their image galleries are out of this world so check them out.]